It’s sad knowing that my little brother is growing up not knowing who his “ate” is. I was on facebook, just looking around & I see that my older brother’s girlfriend just posted pictures. They were Christmas pictures & like… It’s sad because my little brother is close to my older brother’s girlfriend & I’m just here like… “Fuck.” I mean yeah I should be the one going down to the city, visiting my brothers & everything, but it’s this feeling I get whenever I’m there. I don’t like my dad & I just can’t get along with him at times. & there are times when I just feel like I don’t belong there, but then again, that’s my fault because I don’t go down there as much as I use to. The only thing that motivates me is my little brother & my grandparents. & I may not be their first grandchild, but I was the first one that they ever helped my mom raise & therefore I’m their favorite & it always makes me happy when I see them because I love them so much! But other than that, I’d rather be in Vallejo w my mom & step dad. I don’t really look forward to seeing my dad, my stepmom, my older brother, or his girlfriend. I ESPECIALLY don’t look forward to seeing my brother’s girlfriend. Why? Because WHO THE FUCK GIVES MY BROTHER A HAND JOB WHILE I’M IN THE CAR?! Like seriously bitch?! Did you think I wouldn’t see? I’m not fucking blind & stupid. After that, I was just pissed. I didn’t want to be around them anymore & I’m just fucking disgusted. I mean I don’t care that they have done it before, but just don’t get sexual & stuff around me. That’s my fucking brother. Ugh, gross. But anyway, back to my point.. It just makes me sad that my little brother is close to my brother’s girlfriend & not his own sister. *sigh* & it makes it even harder to deal with because it’s Christmas time & then it’s New Years & then it’s like, another year with him not being close to his sister. Then when he opens his present from me, he isn’t going to know who the heck “Ate Casey” is. That’s why I’m always so jealous when my friends are close to their siblings & another reason why I try to get Leander close to his siblings.

Well, enough of this. It’s making me upset :\ Goodnight Tumblr.